Profunksticated

Why Profunksticated as a handle? Thank George Clinton, Bill’s 10th cousin four times removed. The name is derived from a cut of the 1975 album Mothership Connection called "Supergroovalisticprosifunkstication."  One of my boys tagged me with this nickname as his way of saying I used too many big words in my speech.

I guess I talked too much like a white guy. Oh well. More about me:

• Black male born in late 1950s, now in my late 40s. Child of school integration.
• Married, three kids. Live on East Coast. Bachelor’s Degree from Big State School in the South that didn’t allow blacks until the early 1960s.
• Didn’t come from a family of black activists — my churchgoing kin are too heavenly minded to be thinking about earthly things.
• Former user of alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, methamphetamines and crack. Now part of a 12-step program.
• Former serial adulterer. The only way to stop was to confess to The Spouse three years ago, did so on the advice of a minister friend. Most of my fucks were crimes of opportunity (you know, on out of town trips and the like, although I called myself having feelings for a couple of these women). The Spouse was pissed hurt, devastated, you name it, for a good two years. But she’s a good woman, amazingly forgiving me instead of shanking me in the neck with an icepick.
• The above two points were result of a delayed adolescent rebellion that lasted well into my 30s.
• Wanted to be a goody two-shoes Negro as a kid, but found the bad ones got the attention (and the pussy.)
• My desire to be a good little boy didn’t stop that be-yatch of a first grade teacher from making me sit on a wastebasket as if taking a shit for the crime of doodling on construction paper she handed out.
• Little racial consciousness growing up, other than my angry father grumbling about "the white folks." Hey at least he was there. Didn’t know what the KKK was until I heard Red Foxx crack a joke about it  on an episode of Sanford and Son.
• Heavily influenced by white media. Watched a lot of TV, including Hanna-Barbera and Warner Bros. animation. Read a lot of Beverly Cleary growing up.
• Somehow hoodwinked my way into media, specifically newspapers, but got honest with myself and figured out I got into journalism more as an ego boost than as a public service.
• Among things I hate: Hypocrisy, racism, selfishness (including my own) and the attitudes of corporate upper managers (they are some obstructive whiny-ass motherfuckers if I ever saw any).
• I love God, although He pisses me off at times. Don’t worry, I’ve told Him. We’re still cool.

As we say in the program, keep coming back. Later.