Profunksticated

Profunksticated has seen the (possible) future — and it wasn’t pretty, at least initially. This glimpse into the future told me what love really is.

The Spouse, the Two Sons and I visited her godfather in a nursing home this past weekend. He just celebrated what we believe is his 85th birthday, and he’s got advanced Alzheimer’s disease.  The Spouse has much affection for "Uncle F." because he and his late wife took The Spouse’s mom under their wing years ago and treated her much like their daughter.

You see, The Spouse’s mom — my mom-in-law — married my late father-in-law under some pretty weird circumstances. You ever hear of a man leaving his wife for a younger woman? Of course you have.

But have you ever heard of this man introducing his new woman’s family to his son? And then the son of that man becoming sweet on the "other woman’s" kid sister?  And this happening in the 1950s?

Well, the son, who passed away in the early 1990s, and that younger sister are my in-laws. They dated, allowed nature to take over and ended up pregnant with a baby who would grow up to become who I call The Spouse. Of course, my dad-in-law did the right thing and married my mom-in-law, amidst all kinds of pressure from both families to not get hitched.

My mom-in-law caught most of the flack from her own mother, whom I never met. Enter Uncle F. and his wife, who were neighbors. They treated mom-in-law like a daughter, gave her the emotional support she needed and became The Spouse’s godparents.

During our two-hour visit, The Spouse talked to her godfather and fed him cake as I snapped photos. The Spouse says that Uncle F. recognized her, "sort of."  He had lost a lot of weight and his speech was incoherent. You see, Uncle F. was once a prominent businessman. He has a grown son in his late 50s, but the son orbits in his own universe to the point where my mom-in-law had to gain power of attorney and have Uncle F. placed in the facility.

At one point, my older son whispers to me, "Dad, this place is depressing." I had to agree. All I could think about, seeing all those elderly folk in wheelchairs, many afflicted with dementia, was what would I do if my parents, who are in their 70s, or mom-in-law, in her late 60s, ended up like that. Or to take it a step further, The Spouse or I could end up that way.

I actually went into the rest room and asked God, "The ones who are saved, just take them."

I can only pray God give me and all of use the ability to take care of my elders. In the meantime, The Spouse was sad over seeing her godfather in this condition, but was glad she visited.

I too am glad we visited.

Peace.