Profunksticated

Profunksticated’s Memorial Day weekend was a’ight. The highlight was finally assembling the hand-me-down bunk bed set for my younger son, who is eight. My brother’s two sons, my nephews, had used it.

Younger son was thrilled. So was I. With the help of my 19-year-old son and a 21-year-old cousin, the job was finally over.

Speaking of my younger son, I noticed on Saturday he was on the computer and clicked out of the window he was viewing when I came up behind him. He clicked a little too fast for old Pro, whose spider senses started tingling.

“What were you looking at?”

“Nothing.”

“I saw you looking at something.”

“It was nothing.”

“Show me what you were looking at.”

(Stammering, fidgeting and otherwise continuing to stall) “I’m in really big trouble.”

“I’m gonna ask you one more time to show me what you were looking at.”

Finally, he Googles the words “Naked women,” clicks on the first link and up pops a sexuality explicit video, complete with naked women doing things with naked men.

“How did you think to Google naked women?”

“I just thought of it.”

“When would you normally look at this stuff?”

“When no one’s around.”

There you have it. My eight-year-old son likes looking at porn. I’ll be honest. It was all I could do not to bust out laughing, but I had to maintain that stern Dad demeanor. I told him never to look at such sites again, they were inappropriate for boys his age to look at and that Dad has ways of finding which sites he was on.

Filled now with the Fear of Dad, the younger son promised not to view porn. Nonetheless, I’m now gonna have to figure out a way to block that stuff from his curious little eyes.

I told The Spouse, wasn’t angry and surmised that his Googling “naked women” was a logical extension of his watching the Naked Brothers Band on Nickelodeon. I tend to believe he got the idea where most kids get their initial sex education — on the schoolyard. Whatever.

I could understand it if he were 12 or 13. I was 13 when I discovered my dad’s Playboy magazine stash. But eight? I guess I shouldn’t be that surprised.

These kids today really do start early, don’t they?

Peace.