Profunksticated

Profunksticated was angry last Friday to the point of wanting to return to the bottle. All it took was unnecessarily paying a $500 collision deductible to cover a dent I made in the rental car’s rear bumper. Being the impatient person I am, I tried to maneuver my way out of a crowded gas station and hit an air compressor.

Why wasn’t I carrying the collision damage waiver, which would have saved me that sum, you ask? Because I thought the repair to my damaged van would take longer than they actually did. Once I was told to expect the van on June 27, I decided to remove the coverage, which would have totaled more than $200. My thinking was I would take my chances that I wouldn’t have a traffic accident.

The van was ready by last Friday. Had I known that, I would likely have kept the rental collision waiver coverage for what turned out to be four days. (And to top off things, the van was delivered with the wrong grille style. How do you mess that up? The rep of the body shop promised to fix it.)

Removing the collision coverage turned out the be a bad move. I forgot that the collision damage is offered not just to protect renters from damages involving major crashes, but also for minor dents. If you reject the coverage, your own insurance pays for the damage. But the rental agency will collect your deductible amount, if you have one, up front.

The lesson: If your insurance deductible exceeds the total amount of collision damage waiver premium you pay while renting a vehicle, you’re better off keeping the collision damage. It’s one thing to dent your own vehicle; that’s inconsequential. But denting a rental? That can be murder on your wallet.

Meantime, I was mad as hell. The episode with the rental sent me over the edge. Every annoyance, every irritation, every disappointment, came pouring out. I was on the phone with The Spouse, ranting and cursing over our lack of finances, being away from home, having to look for a job once more and other stuff. She listened and quietly reminded me to praise God in all things.

Yes, I found that hard to do. She asked me to read a copy of a prayer she left in the van. I only felt slightly better. I also told some folk in my 12-step fellowship what was going on, and they made a point this weekend of making sure I hung with them at meetings because they didn’t want to see me fall off the wagon. By Saturday, I had calmed down.

On Sunday, I had a long talk with my sponsor in NJ about what was up. He asked if I was praying. I sheepishly said no. He said I needed to pray more and take what we call a Tenth Step inventory each day that asks if we’re working our recovery program to the best of our ability. I’ve not talked with my sponsor on a daily basis like I’m supposed to in the seven months I’ve been here in the Washington area. But I’ve resolved to do so going forward.

Today, Monday, I have another job interview, which should be cause for rejoicing, but I’m still nervous and not looking forward to it. I really have to get better with dealing with feelings of fear and anger.

Despite it all, deep down in my heart, I don’t want to blow six and a half years of “clean time” – not using drugs or alcohol – over dumb stuff.

But I really could have used those five bills for something other than giving them to Enterprise Car Rental. I certainly didn’t feel Friday like they’d “pick me up.”

Peace.