Someone Out There Agrees
Just thought I’d share with you a reader comment reacting to a Newsweek article about a book titled The Truth About Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do To Prevent It.
Apparently this person, who identifies herself as a woman, agrees with what I’ve been saying about some mens’ attitudes toward marriage (bold emphasis is mine):
Posted By: songbirdfemme @ 10/06/2008 9:59:15 AM
I am a woman, and have learned a lot in the last few years. I have to say that there are a lot of problems in society that lead to cheating. Number one, many of us do not enter a marraige on the same page. Men often do not marry because they really want to, they do it because of the pressure. Many woman think that being married will solve all of their problems, and that it is their duty to keep up with the Jonses… in other words, perfect house, or even close to perfect, children who are given everything. Most men care about taking care of a family, and love their kids, but they also want to have a quality sex life, and if you look around, there is usually a scantily clad girl willing to give quality sex. If a woman gets married for the right reasons, which are to love a family, to support and be a partner with a man, he will have very little reason to cheat. It should be easy to love and support a man if, when you get married, you already love and support him, and don’t allow the quality of life that you think you should have or that other people have change the way you treat your man. Men need to grow a backbone and learn to say ” I don’t want to marry you” when they aren’t sure. They need to be honest. Men have a really hard time with this, especially if they think they will be attacked, lambasted. Then, when they try to make a marraige work, a woman will sense that they are not really into her and attempt to lambast anyway. These roles can be reversed in relationships too, even though it is less common. Chibull08, I would get out of that marraige if I were you.
muy interesante.
before i even say ‘yes’ to a proposal, i will speak to my guy about how he really feels about me and marriage. i pray that he will feel comfortable enough with me to be perfectly (even if brutally) honest. simply loving someone is not enough of a reason to marry them. and i’d much rather you shatter my heart before we say “I Do” than for you to do it afterwards. cuz divorce isn’t really an option for this dragonfly. we will be married until death, even if that means i have to kill you.
j/k. kinda.
i honestly don’t know what i’d do if cheated on in a marriage. devastated does not describe the pain.
That’s why Pro’s here. So you can learn from his mistakes.
“we will be married until death, even if that means i have to kill you.” Plotting a prison break already are we?
LOL!
Comment by dragonflysoul — October 6, 2008 @ 3:42 pm
no, i won’t try to escape prison. i’ll do my time like a woman, LOL. can prisoners blog?
Yes, as long as the warden can prescreen what you’re writing. Otherwise you’ll be placed in solitary. LOL!
Comment by dragonflysoul — October 6, 2008 @ 4:50 pm
This is excellent advice. I can’t be in a relationship where there isn’t the space for complete and total honesty. That’s why I’m single right now. I don’t think honesty is too much to ask.
Yes, you’re right, but look at the big picture. Human society throughout history, for the sake of sparing feelings and saving face, has never fostered a culture of complete and total honesty. Those who insisted on being brutally honest were at best shunned or at worst killed. Exhibit 1: Jesus Christ.
Comment by A — October 6, 2008 @ 6:05 pm
Good example, Pro. Good example.
Thanks, A. That’s why old Pro is here.
Comment by A — October 7, 2008 @ 5:39 pm
Wow. This WAS a good one. I will admit, it is a difficult thing to tell a woman that she’s not the one.
Thanks, Cord. You ain’t kidding about that one. In my case, it’s was not a matter of any woman not being the one (trust, I LOOOOVE women); it’s that MARRIAGE and its perceived restrictions weren’t for me at that time.
Comment by Corduroy Johnson — October 13, 2008 @ 11:42 am