African Heritage
Profunksticated this past weekend attended a retreat in the DMV put on by the African Heritage caucus of a national coalition-building group with which The Spouse participates. Broadly speaking, the weekend is intended to help folks of African descent get in closer touch with our African-ness, which as you know we generally suppress here in America for fear dealing with disapproving white folks.
I attended in 2006, but missed last year’s retreat because I was at a Washington-area workshop trying to revive my professional network.
Discussions range from exercising one’s subconscious mind, to getting in touch with one’s duality (both our male and female sides) to even how we wear our hair. The hair thing was deep to me, and I admit to being inoculated with a preference for black women with straight, permed hair. Many of the sisters at this gathering had their hair in locks (never use the term “dreadlocks,” we were told. Why should this style be something to dread?)
We sang, we danced, called on our ancestors, told stories (you would have cracked up at the stories Pro told of the births of his kids and his own childhood) and we even let out some pain. Brothers and sisters are encouraged to release the pain they’re carrying. My nephew and son, who attended at The Spouse’s urging, cried out over the recent loss of their mother/aunt.
As some of the brothers comforted my nephew, I took a couple of them aside and told them that he is also angry at his father. They were like, OK. So they walked and talked with my nephew for a few minutes. Meanwhile, my son yelled at the tops of his lungs and was about to throw a chair, but thought better of it. That’s OK they said, let it out. My son fell to his knees, sobbing.
The drums, oh the drums. There’s something comforting about hearing a couple of brothers beat the drums going while the facilitator is talking. Folks came from all over the U.S. to attend; along with a couple of brothers from the U.K, across the pond.
I’m glad my young men attended. After our Saturday session, my son, nephew and a few other young people went into D.C. to hang out at Howard University’s Homecoming. My nephew said he was never before so excited to see a city as when he entered Washington. He said he liked seeing to top of the U.S. Capitol. Now he’s talking about possibly moving this way, perhaps into P.G. County. I said, come on, you’ll love it.
Speaking of the family, I spoke to my brother Friday, which was his birthday. I asked him about his girlfriend/baby son’s mother. He said she was fine. Then he launched into a tirade about how our mother and sister decided they didn’t like the woman. He also said the woman isn’t exactly feeling the idea of meeting Mom and Sis.
I reminded my brother in Mom’s and Sis’ eyes, he betrayed his ill wife by carrying on a long-term affair and this woman was a willing co-conspirator, so of course they’re going to train their wrath on his girlfriend. He said he knew, but sooner or later they’re going to have to get over it because he’s determined to have a relationship with this woman, other folk’s feelings be damned.
He even mentioned he was ready to cut our sister out of his life behind this. And I told him don’t even do that. He said he didn’t mean it that way, he meant he would just limit his contact with our sister. My father? He’s said very little so far, but I have a feeling he’s going to take me aside and ask me a bunch of questions.
Ya’ll I’m going to need some help and prayers, because this stuff is not going away.
And on a lighter, unrelated note, I’m sharing with you all the address of a web site that plays nothing but R&B from the about 1975 to 1990. It’s based in the Netherlands. Enjoy.
www.oldschool.nl
Check ya’ll out later. Peace.
Wow Pro I love that retreat idea? Why didn’t I know about it, it sounds like something I could enjoy… glad your son and nephew enjoyed it.
Regarding your bro.. it’s a tough one, I guess despite his betraying his late wife, folks would have to respect his feeling about this woman now and they might not have to like her, but she is in his life… u r in my prayers.
I tried the site the other day from the office, I think my administrator has limited access to it, but I can access and listen to last.fm all day, which makes no sense. I’ma check it when I am at home.
Have a good week:)
Shazza, if you want info on the retreat next year (I can put you in touch with one of the brothers from over your way) it can be provided. However, then I’ll have to explain to my wife how I met you and that whole thing about this blog and the circle.
(She doesn’t know I’ve been writing this blog for the past year. At some point waaaay down the road, maybe I’ll reveal it.)
And with my bro, yeah, it’s tough. But now my wife says she’s willing to meet the other woman, which is a step forward.
And you’ll love the radio station. I think it requires you to download Quicktime. I can understand about how companies limit access. The only access we’re limited to here is social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace.
Comment by Shazza — October 20, 2008 @ 10:08 am
well i don’t want u to get into trouble with the spouse:) but i understand the need for privacy, its okay to have this as a platform to just lay it out.
and i spoke too soon… sometime yesterday afternoon some arse from IT, next door, decided to cut access to last.fm, this is really personal as i am sure i was the only person in the entire organisation who used it, and they just wanna piss me off. now i am listening to a normal radio station, a south african one. well we have facebook and myspace here.
That’s OK, Shazza. There are some who believe you should share EVERYTHING with your spouse. I never believed that. Does that mean every little action, every little thought? You see where I’m going - that way of thinking can become ridiculous. So this blog stays mine.
You can always try the Dutch R&B station at home, for what it’s worth.
Comment by Shazza — October 21, 2008 @ 10:23 am
Your retreat sounds positively productive. Glad to hear of it. I have to remember to keep your family on my prayer list.
Thanks, A. The retreat was productive, especially for my young men. And thanks for your prayers. This situation will be a test, as I’ve said before.
Comment by A — October 21, 2008 @ 1:03 pm