Random Late November Stuff
What up? It’s been a few days, I know.
This past weekend, Pro attended a funeral for a brother in my 12-step fellowship up in New Jersey. He was married with a couple kids, 44 and had six years clean. He and I share the same sponsor. Dude was diagnosed with stomach cancer a year ago, but by the time they found it, it had spread. At the time, doctors gave him two months to live, but he lasted a year, dying on Nov. 16. The funeral was a combination of Christian service and 12-step meeting. May he rest in peace.
I finished what may be the final version of a video tribute to my parents, who are celebrating their golden anniversary the first weekend of December. I used a combination of home movies and still photos over a piece of modern classical music that’s familiar to most people who watch NBC News. It’s called The Mission, by John Williams, a recording of which appears below. Watching my finished product gives me goosebumps. (Yes, I’m biased.) I hope all the folks at the anniversary party feel the same when they see it.
I still haven’t seen my brother’s son. The situation with his longtime mistress-turned-official-squeeze has created something of a rift between he and my sister. My brother wants to live his life how he sees fit, even if that means him allowing the woman to visit and spend nights at the house he shared with his late wife. I tend to believe my bro’s blinded by a sense of entitlement brought about by his dealing with his ill spouse all those years.
My sister believes he needs to put girly-girl on the back burner and pay more attention to his sons’ emotional needs, especially those of the 14-year-old. She says my bro’s extramarital affair doesn’t bother her as much as him dropping the new baby and the woman on the boys so soon after they lost their mother.
Says my sister: “He snuck around with her for how many years? He could have (kept her under wraps) for at least another year (following his wife’s death).” I tend to agree. If I lost my wife, I don’t think I’d be inclined to introduce any new woman (yes, she would be legit) to my children so soon. My mom says both my sister and brother need to get over the rift. “It doesn’t make any sense,” she said.
Pray for us, please, ya’ll. Up until this year, my family has been relatively drama free. I guess it’s our turn.
You guys are in my thoughts. I agree with your sister. Your brother is dealing with his own grief, and using this other woman is just how he’s choosing to do it. It will pass.
Thanks, A. I don’t know about whether he’s using the woman. I know my mom and sis are hoping it will pass, but I don’t know.
Comment by A — November 25, 2008 @ 10:54 am
ohh sorry to hear about your fellow 12 step brotha. well may his soul rest in peace, great that he had more than the 2 months anticipated by doctor’s to spend with his loved ones.
my payers are with your family, it’s a tricky and sad one… but i agree it’s a bit too early to bring out the mistress out of the closet so soon after the death of his wife.
hope he and your sis will sort it out soon.
mhh i am sure yuor parents will love their gift, unfortunatley i can see the video as am at the office, and the decided to ban such sites
Hey Shazza! Thanks for the thoughts on my fellow clean addict. I regret that I didn’t see him in his last few months.
As far as the family, thanks for your prayers. I’m still fine-tuning the video tribute. It needs one more photo, I believe.
And as far as my brother, I can only hope he sees what’s really going on. I hate for family to be split over this.
Comment by Shazza — November 25, 2008 @ 11:24 am
Happy Thanksgiving. I would love to see the video after your event. Have a great time.
Hope your Thanksgiving was well, Ms. Diva. You can see the vid after the event. Can’t wait to show it off. See ya.
Comment by TravelDiva — November 28, 2008 @ 7:00 pm
im dittoing - hope u and the fam had a wonderful holiday
Thanks much, Dawg. Hope your fam had a great holiday, also.
Comment by rawdawgbuffalo — December 1, 2008 @ 10:52 am