Something Bigger
Seconds after I wrote the post below, I went over to Lord Hannibal’s site. He touched on what I was feeling.
I should be overjoyed that a man that looks like me is now President. But to me, somehow the inauguration seemed an anti-climatic formality. It was the election outcome that had me all geeked up. Wow, America, I believed that November night, is growing up.
LH put his finger on, in part, what was going through my mind Tuesday:
In the abstract, yes, Obama represents hope and possibility. I never thought I’d see the day when a man who shared my heritage would be president. Last night as I lay in the bed, it dawned on me that Obama and I are fewer than 10 years apart in age. Instead of becoming depressed because I’ve accomplished so little relative to Obama, I felt empowered to do whatever I want to do (something I’m still working out in my head).
I’m 49, only two years older than Obama. He’s about my brother’s age. I admit to feeling like, damn, I too have accomplished little compared to this guy. I truly believe he got as far has he did because he as a biracial kid who’s lived around the world, was relatively untainted by the stuff we American-born black kids were bombarded with by our well-meaning elders:
“The white man’s only going to let you go so far.”
“You have to be twice as good.”
And so on. Lord knows, I heard more than my share of that crap.
I do remember being inspired after the election. But watching the inauguration somehow depressed me.
Maybe being among the shivering masses did it. Maybe it’s the thought of turning 50 and feeling like I’m locked into a line of work I’m not exactly in love with.
I should be up there amidst those dignitaries, I was thinking. Sounds egotistical, right? But it was some measure of ego that got those folks where they are.
And don’t give me that stuff about well, you’re a dad, and you’ve done a good job raising a family and that’s an important accomplishment. Yeah, and so have millions of other men.
Somehow I believe I am, even as I approach 50, destined for something bigger. Something that will impact many, many people, like I did when I was a newspaper guy.
But I’m doing nothing with that destiny. That’s got to change. I’ve got to make up my mind that I’m going to work on it. God, please help me.
LH, thank you for getting this brother to think.
And to President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama, a heartfelt congratulations. May God bless you both and guide your walks in this stage of your lives’ journeys.
its really not him but rather us, we the people
True dat. We tend to forget about “we the people” when our tendency is to focus on that individual as the embodiment of such creed.
Comment by rawdawg — January 21, 2009 @ 10:33 am
Just imagine the impact if President Obama can get some at-risk youngster to reflect like
you just did. Those of us that are educated and have been raised properly know that this is a
call to action. I just want some of the youngins to hear it, feel it and act on it too.
Philly, welcome! It was the youngsters (18-25) who helped put President Obama over the top; so I suspect they’ll be acting on it. I hope that bodes true for the younger folk (12-17) as well.
Comment by onefromphilly — January 22, 2009 @ 2:50 pm
I’m back!! I loved the honesty in your post.
Welcome back, A! Thanks much. It’s folk like you that inspire me to write from the heart!!!
Comment by A — January 23, 2009 @ 10:46 am
Ohh Pro, like u read my thoughts, i have an obsession with the Obama’s, i must have spent hours last night, reading and listening to every public speech and interview Michelle has ever taken part in. At 45, the sister did well, and i am 30 in no mans land (though this is not part of my ambitions), no money, no job, no family, no connection,… nothing. i don’t know, and as much as hearing both of them speak, gives me hope… i am not an American, and the dream seems soo far for me. these two as Michelle repeatedly quotes her hubby “do not settle for the world as it is, but working towards how it shuld be”. it must be awesome to be an American right now, u can do anything u want.
i am glad this makes you think about where u r headed, good luck with that
Thanks, Shazza. And don’t worry; you will get there. I read in the Washington Post where early on, Obama spoke to an audience of less than 10 during an early campaign. But he was undaunted. Barack Obama is an example of a President who came from nowhere as opposed to those from political families like Roosevelt or Bush.
Comment by Shazza — January 23, 2009 @ 2:46 pm