Profunksticated

Hello, you all. Sorry it’s been a few weeks. Some random thoughts from old Profunksticated, the Supergroovalistic One:

It takes suffering through a nasty upper respiratory infection to realize that a person should never, ever take for granted the ability to swallow food or liquids without intense throat pain.

The 2008 and 2009 Philadelphia Phillies are the best baseball teams this historically hapless franchise has ever fielded.

This commute between the DMV and the Philly-South Jersey may be coming to an end as I seek employment in New Jersey. It cannot come too soon. Just one recent morning, I found myself stuck in traffic along southbound Interstate 95 for an hour north of Baltimore due to a multi-vehicle accident that involved an auto transporter. And to top things off, the computer that controls the traffic signals in Montgomery County, Maryland crashed. Someone’s gonna have to re-write that code or consult a library.

I do like having these long weekends under FMLA. I don’t like not getting paid for when I’m not at work. Why does life have to have tradeoffs? I want it all.

I finished a master’s course called Software Frameworks, all about reusing code in web-based applications. It kicked my azz. A major problem was the software packages we were required to download and work with were flawed. After getting a string of “A’s,” I escaped this Dante’s Inferno of a course with a “C.”

I voted for a third-party candidate in the New Jersey election for governor. I was proud of myself for helping this guy get 5% of the vote. President Obama notwithstanding, I’m about sick and tired watching the donkeys and the elephants practice their shenanigans. The electorate needs to get bolder and support more of these folks, who aren’t backed by big money and who aren’t bought (at least not yet).

Thank God for my son’s Playstation 3. He told me it plays Blu-Ray discs. Until then, I was contemplating getting a Blu-Ray player to go along with the newly-bought 42-inch LCD high-definition television. I love watching that thing.

Any of you who even have a middling interest in professional sports may have heard that Harry Kalas, longtime broadcaster for the Philadelphia Phillies, died Monday in the broadcast booth while preparing to call a game between the Phils and the Washington Nationals at Nationals Park in DC. He had been with the club since 1971, which was the year that the now-razed Veterans Stadium opened.

That represents 37 full seasons of calling Phillies baseball. And it was during those years the Phillies, as is the case throughout most of the franchise’s 126-year history, fielded some pretty lousy teams. Hearing Harry, which his distinctive deep voice, call a Phillies home run as “Outta heeeere” made watching the team bearable.

If you’re still not familiar with who Harry Kalas is, think “Inside the NFL” which ran for years on HBO. Harry narrated the filmed football highlights, following in the footsteps of another Philadelphia legend, the late John Facenda. NFL Films, which has produced countless hours of NFL hightlights, is located in a Philly suburb called Mount Laurel, New Jersey.

Below is Harry calling the final out of the Phils’ World Series win last October. Behind him celebrating is fellow broadcaster Chris Wheeler.

You’ve got to admit Harry is blessed to have been able to go out doing what he loved. RIP.

Pro’s Philadelphia Eagles – could they be taking a cue from their cross-street neighbors, the Phillies, by being determined to bring home that Lombardi trophy, presented to the winner of the National Football League’s Super Bowl? I sure hope so.

Watching my Birds beat the New York Giants in the NFL Divisional Playoff was sa-weet. By a score of 23-11 at that. No NFL game in history has had that final score. And in their house, no less!!! Yeeeaaaahhhh, babeeeee!

Now it’s on to Arizona and a date with – the Cardinals (The Cardinals??? – they’ve sucked for years!!!) for the National Football Conference Championship. The winner goes to the Super Bowl.

My older son, then 15, and I attended a November 2004 Eagles-Giants game in the Meadowlands and were harassed by a couple of yahoos sitting behind us who saw we were wearing our Eagles gear. Now, granted some good natured razzing is expected when you venture into an opposing stadium, but it was obvious these two guys had been drinking since early that morning, and were taking things too far over the top. The game started at 1 p.m. that Sunday.

“How does sperm taste?” was one of the pleasantries one of those guys shared with us. I said something like, “It’s only a game, dude,” turned around and tried to ignore them. My son wanted to hit them with an equally vulgar comeback, but I told him to keep quiet. I really didn’t feel like fighting, getting kicked out of the stadium and getting thrown into the Bergen County Jail.

All game long, these guys screamed, cussed and even said “Ufck that n—-r!” as then-Eagle Terrell Owens began waving his arms like a bird after making a catch for a long gain near the game’s end. My ears really began to burn.

The Eagles won that game en route to the playoffs and Super Bowl that year. But I was hot, angry, pissed, you name it. Our seats were not nosebleed; they were in the third row in the lower bowl, corner end zone.

For the money I paid and for the seat location, I expected to at least be surrounded by a higher class of football fan. These Giant fans were straight up obnoxious despite the fact there were kids sitting nearby. I was hoping a fellow Giants fan would tell the guys to knock it off, but it never happened. An usher would show up periodically at which point those guys would make nice.

So I wrote a letter to the Giants, describing in excruciating detail our experience at the game, and said they should have had ushers stationed near our seats. I sent copies to the New Jersey authority that operates Giants Stadium, the National Football League and the Eagles.

Long story short, I got responses from the stadium authority, the Giants and the NFL. A stadium authority official, who said my letter damn near brought him to tears, provided tickets to a 76ers-New Jersey Nets NBA game at the authority-owned Continental Airlines Arena.

A Giants official provided my son and I 50-yard-line tickets and pre-game sideline access to the following year’s Eagles-Giants game at Giants Stadium. He said he didn’t want our son’s unpleasant experience to be his last memory of attending a Giants game. He said he would also use my letter as ammunition to convince his higher-ups to restore permanently stationed ushers in the lower bowl.

The NFL wrote back but only to acknowledge my concerns. I’ve recently seen articles in the news were the NFL was seeking to crack down on unruly fans, so maybe my letter played a part.

I never did hear from the Eagles. But that’s OK. They’re still my team.

Christmas Eve. Downtime in the office. I haven’t had a whole lot to say since the folks’ anniversary. What’s rattling through my mind:

Going to try in 2009 for a newer, better paying gig. Tired of expenses stripping income. Yeah, I know I should trim some expenses, but save cable TV, there isn’t a lot to cut. And I ain’t giving up my HBO when I’m home.
We are looking to refinance that damned mortgage.

Still haven’t heard back from the graduate school to which I applied.

Just finished cleaning off my desk. There was stuff on it that dates back to July when I first started here. I tend to be a pack rat.

The Spouse will visit me here in the DMV for New Year’s. I’d like us to go to a Washington Capitals game scheduled for New Year’s Day. (OK, yeah, that’s an expense, too but one I’ll gladly eat.) We used to do hockey games together in Philly (Go Flyers!) when we were dating. We saw our first hockey game in February 1982 — Flyers vs. the L.A. Kings at the soon to be razed Spectrum in South Philly. Game had everything — shooting, scoring, hitting and a second-period brawl that left blood on the ice. Then in 1987, almost five years to the month later, we flew from our new home in Colorado to L.A. to see the same two teams — Flyers and Kings — this time at The Forum in Inglewood, CA. Not quite as violent, but entertaining nonetheless. Flyers won both those games, BTW.

I say all this to say, my sisters, guys want their women to be their recreational companions. If he asks you to attend a live sporting event with him, by all means, go. He’ll love you for that. I think that’s been a big thing that’s been missing in our marriage in recent years. I hope hockey fans our flames once again.

That’s it for now. Pro wishes you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Peace.

THE PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES — MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL’S 2008 WORLD CHAMPIONS!!!!!

This win marks the city’s first major sports championship since the 1982-83 Philadelphia 76ers won the National Basketball Association title!!!

Update, Oct. 31, 2008: Just thought I’d add some photos capturing the Phils’ celebratory moments. (Click on the thumbnails to see larger versions of the photos.)

Pitcher Brad Lidge and catcher Carlos Ruiz celebrate after final out.

Phils pile it on after winning 2008 World Series.

Phils first baseman Ryan Howard holds up World Series trophy.

Wow! Profunksticated is a happy dude once again. My Philadelphia Phillies are going to Major League Baseball’s World Series. They earned the berth representing the National League by beating the Los Angeles Dodgers 5-1, giving them a four-games-to-one win in the best of seven series.

Now the Phillies await the winner of the Tampa Bay Rays-Boston Red Sox American League Championship Series. Tampa Bay is up by three games to one over Boston. The Rays, who play their home games in an unspeakably ugly domed stadium in St. Petersburg, Florida (my brother, older son and nephews attended a game there in 2004), could wrap their series up with a win tonight.

Last night’s win marks the first time the Phillies will have played in the World Series since 1993, when they lost to the Toronto Blue Jays.  This is only the sixth time they’ve played in the Fall Classic in their entire 125-year history. Good luck to the Phils.

What can I say? I’ve been watching baseball daggone near my whole life. I’m disheartened by the game’s waning popularity among young African Americans in the past couple of decades. However, the Phillies have two African American stars, Jimmy Rollins and Ryan Howard, who were the National League’s Most Valuable Players in 2007 and 2006, respectively. I’m especially happy for those guys. Perhaps they will inspire more young black American kids to take up baseball once again.

Shortstop Jimmy Rollins

First Baseman Ryan Howard

On the sports front, it’s been a bittersweet weekend. The bad news first: The Philadelphia Eagles lost today to the Washington Redskins. Seems Washington is for real after beating two division rivals (the Eagles and the Dallas Cowboys last week) on the road. The Eagles, with two wins and three losses, are in big trouble. They’ve got to turn it around and fast if they expect to even sniff the NFL playoffs.

Now the good news: The Philadelphia Phillies won their divisional series, beating the Milwaukee Brewers in a best of five. Now the Phils face the Los Angeles Dodgers for the National League pennant in a best of seven series. The winner goes on to Major Leage Baseball’s World Series.

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And how about O.J. Simpson? You talk about a long, hard fall from grace. Found guilty on all counts stemming from an alleged armed robbery of two memorabilia dealers in Las Vegas, the ex-Buffalo Bills running back, car rental pitchman, actor and football commentator may end up like too many other black men — spending the rest of his life in prison.

Simpson, in blackjack parlance, was dealt the legal equivalent of a face card and a five for a total of 15, with the dealer showing a 10-card. He had to take a hit, drew another 10-card and busted. He’s going to appeal, but has to sit in jail while the legal maneuvering plays out.

And that Simpson was found guilty in this relatively petty-assed crap on the 13th anniversary of the acquittal in his murder trial was especially eerie.

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As promised, here are some fuzzy photos from Pro’s childhood, as captured from home movies. Try not to laugh too loudly.

I’m real happy right about now. My Philadelphia Phillies won the National League East division for the second consecutive year and are headed to Major League Baseball’s playoffs. And once again, they edged the New York Mets for the title.

And on Sunday night, it’ll be my Philadelphia Eagles vs. the Chicago Bears in the NFL. Also, the Washington Redskins will play the Dallas Cowboys. Hmm. I guess I’ll pull for Washington since as an Eagle fan I’m obligated to hate Dallas more than I do the Redskins. LOL!

Profunksticated has found he likes to do the electric slide — it’s the only line dance he knows — but only to certain songs. One of them was Joy and Pain by Maze Featuring Frankie Beverly.

Yup, Maze and Snoop Dogg were the headliners at the NBA Players Assocation Gala in New Orleans’ Ernest N. Morial Convention Center this past All Star weekend. There was something about doing the electric slide to Joy and Pain that felt like heaven on earth. For a few minutes there, just about all my problems and issues were light years away as we all moved in unison.

A friend and I later managed to snag spots in the front row prior to Snoop’s generally obscenity-laced performance, when Tyrese helped to warm up the already hot crowd. When Snoop finally took the stage, I took a few photos with a digital camera I had bought on Canal Street, as well as about 30 seconds of video. You’d have thought Snoop was the second coming of Jesus the way some of those folks carried on.

I’m no big fan of Mr. Dogg (aka Calvin Broadus), but I always did like the cut Gin and Juice. By the time he broke into that rap, my camera’s battery went dead. Damn!

There had to have been about 7,000 people in that cavernous convention hall. Many NBA ballers were there. I was able to make out guys like Shaquille O’Neal and Magic Johnson. I even spotted the former baseballer Dave Winfield sitting at the same table with Magic.

But I’m sure I missed a lot of those guys, since they’re younger, I’m older and I simply don’t recognize as many of them as I did a few years back. Let’s face it, I’m not the sports fan I once was. Life keeps getting in the way.

But for a few moments, life took a back seat as I “Slided” to the lovely beat of Joy and Pain. I was feeling a whole lot more joy.

Peace.

Profunksticated has just finished watching the Super Bowl, which had to be among the best he’s ever witnessed. Congratulations to the New York Giants, who beat the vaunted New England Patriots, 17-14, killing the Patriots’ bid for an undefeated season. The 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only other National Football League team to pull off the perfect season, can breathe easier now that their record is safe for one more year.

As you know, the Super Bowl is a showcase for offbeat commercials. I found them mostly lame.

Until early in the fourth quarter. Lo and behold, I see the megolomanical baby Stewie Griffin from Family Guy and Underdog, the original rapping, rhyming canine superhero, dueling in New York’s concrete canyons for a bottle of Coca-Cola.

Stewie and Underdog were depicted as those giant Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade balloons, going after a similarly inflated Coke bottle. However, the helium-filled beverage ended up in the hands of the balloon version of Good Ol’ Charlie Brown.

I loved Underdog, both the animated and inflated versions, as a kid. So this commercial is my hands-down winner. Check it and the other spots here.

Also, I mentioned in an earlier post that I mentored a young lady on refining a business plan for a local competition. I’m happy to say my mentee’s business plan placed third, netting her a cool $500. Yeah, baby! Hope she uses those ends to seed her enterprise, which is a desktop publishing business.

Peace.